WTAF are Control and Influence?
When we exert Influence, we are stepping into the gray area. Without control, we can still work to change outcomes
I often repeat a mantra to myself when I’m in tough situations “Circle of Influence / Circle of Control”. A mentor taught me to refer to these circles when considering if I should spend my energy worrying. I have passed this wisdom along to probably every mentee and direct report with whom I’ve had the privilege of working: care only about what you can influence and control. The rest isn’t worth your time.
One team member from Krakow taught me a Polish idiom that is now my complimentary mantra, “nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy”: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
The Stoics on Control
It turns out this wisdom is a pillar of ancient Stoic philosophy. The Stoics teach us to only care about what you are able to control. Everything outside of what we control was thought of by the stoics as our concern, the things we care about but cannot affect through our own choices (that would be the circus full of monkeys).
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…” - Epictetus
Psychologists have added the concept of influence: where we control our efforts to produce an indirect effect, but we do not control the outcomes.
Your Circle of Control
In his book Turn the Ship Around, L. David Marquet illustrates the concept of leaders giving control to others by increasing clarity and competence of their team members. This is a solid model, though I’d like to add another C to the equation: Capability.
Clarity - do you know why we are doing it?: Understanding the intent, reason, why, purpose, outcome, goal of the actions.
Capability - do you know how to do it? This is the ability and aptitude to perform specific actions to get a desired outcome. Do you understand the specific process or have access to enablers (tools, people, etc.).
Competence - how effective are you at doing it? This is the skills, knowledge, education and personal characteristics of an individual. Do you have experience with the process or the right training?
Outside of Your Control
Anything that lies outside our Circle of Control represents things that we have insufficient Clarity, Capability or Confidence. Applying the Control equation, this means that we:
A) do not understand or personally assign the Clarity about the reason, the why, the ultimate purpose. The thing is done to further someone else’s goal.
B) do not have the Capability, the know-how or ability, to do the thing. Maybe you don’t know who to talk to or have authority or otherwise need to be enabled to do it.
C) do not have the Competence to perform the action. We may have never done it or could be above our pay grade.
D) have neither A nor B nor C… or some combination of the three
We Can All Be Influencers
We inevitably encounter obstacles along our path that we cannot move on our own. When this happens, we can try to influence others to clear the path for us. Influence is understanding who has control, what is their goal, and how moving our obstacle helps them achieve that (or a better) outcome through our capability and competence.
WHO (Controller): First, we must identify those people who have the control to clear our path.
WHY (Clarity): Next, we need clarity around their goals, and how moving our obstacle may help them achieve that goal. The goal may be revenue, risk avoidance, even their own reputation and influence. Get specific about what they want and what they need.
HOW (Capability and/or Competence): Then, we figure out how our capabilities and competencies support the controller’s purpose. How does our know-how and our skillset help them be successful? How is this obstacle preventing our own success toward their goal? If this obstacle is moved, how will we then be successful?
When we exert Influence, we are stepping into the gray area. We don’t have full control, but we can possibly change an outcome without direct force.
Applying Influence: A Use Case
One of your team members is challenged when working with stakeholders because her title doesn’t accurately reflect her responsibilities. You don’t have the authority (control) to change her title but your boss does. How do you influence your boss to make this change?
WHO (Controller): Your boss
WHY (Clarity): Your project will generate significant revenue for the organization, which is your boss’ goal.
HOW (Capability and/or Competence): The ability of your team member to effectively do her job directly impacts the success of the project. Enabling her to be more effective through clarifying her role and raising her profile with stakeholders will make the project more successful.
You can use your influence (your understanding of your boss’ goals and how your project’s success will help them) to create incentive for them to clear the obstacle from the path. They might change your team member’s role title… or they may speak directly to the stakeholders to get them in line. We don’t control how it gets done, but we can influence an outcome.
Empower with Influence
Influence is important for organizations as it can accelerate empowerment.
The ability to make decisions creates autonomy and agency in employees
Autonomy enables us to realize our value
Having and demonstrating our value is empowering
Empowerment builds leaders and is a path to fulfillment
As a leader, you will also be more fulfilled as you will have:
less decision fatigue
more ability to focus on the things you are truly, and uniquely, able to control.
If you are in a position of leadership or power in an organization, consider how you advocate for your employees to grow their influence. In turn, you will increase your span of influence because your team is empowered to control decisions that are guided by the clarity you provide. Your increased span of influence expands your reach and your power. Empowered leaders advocate for others and expand their reach through access to a broader network.
Not Your Circus, but the Monkeys Might Matter to You
While I love the saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys”, the truth is that sometimes you care about the monkeys. It may be easy for the Stoics to not care and not act if something is not in your control. When we care about things that are outside of our control, we can practice expanding our circle of influence to impact the things that matter to us, even if we can’t direct how they can get better.
Some problems feel too big and challenging to affect personally. By practicing influence - identifying who might have even a little bit of control, what is their ‘why’, and how can our knowledge and abilities help them achieve those goals - we may be able to change an outcome through our actions.
Think globally, act (and influence) locally!